Sent For A Reason
by Owlkin
Summary: Post Mirror Sight Series. How the pieces are picked up and haphazardly put back together.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a feeler chapter for a new series. I would like to try to un-fudge some plotlines from MS. GR ff is a smallish world so if there is genuine interest, I'll continue with this. **

* * *

She was gone.

It had not even been a month since she had returned to duty. But in that time, she had been confined to light work in the Rider barracks, tending the books. The winter weather had limited travel as it was. You would have to almost be out of your mind to travel in the blinding snow. But if anyone were capable to attempting it, it would have been Karigan.

Laren had thought it would be a mercy to keep her in the depths of the castle. She was no fool. The Rider captain had missed nothing in the few interactions between her Rider and her king.

She had not counted on that Rider disappearing in the night. It had been a stable hand who, upon beginning his morning rounds, found Condor's empty stall and missing tack. Her few possessions had been left behind in her quarters, the only evidence that she had been there was the ink splattered desk, covered in blotched scraps of paper.

Her new Riders had watched her cautiously when she reemerged from the other corridor. The veterans who had known Karigan did not meet her eyes as they stared at the floor. So she had received help. Karigan's now almost transparent emotions left no doubt in some minds what had plagued her for so many years, in addition to the added stress of her journey.

Perhaps it was for the best that Karigan left for the time being, Laren mused as she closed the door to her office. Her brooch had not forsaken her, thus maybe she would be compelled to come back. Or maybe not.

With an audible groan, Laren sank her head into her propped up hands. She did not relish reporting this discovery to her moonling.


	2. Chapter 2

**I needed a break from GR. On to Chapter 2. I own nothing, all belongs to Kristen Britain.**

* * *

Laren fought the urge to shrink back from the king's steady gaze boring into hers. He stood abruptly and paced towards his study window, turning abruptly on his heel to regard her again. 'How long has she been gone?'

The captain answered tentatively, 'It is likely she left last night, after the rest of the corps turned in.'

'And how is it no one saw her?'

Laren shrugged one shoulder helplessly, 'It is Karigan, sire, she can disappear if she wishes to.'

Zachary let out an exasperated sigh and turned to look out the window again, his hands braced on the frame. 'Do you think she would go home?'

'My gut would tell me no,' she replied softly, unwilling to share anything else. She had seen Karigan's deteriorating condition come to a point these last few weeks. She had rebuffed any and all attempts from her captain to offer counseling, withdrawing into herself and only conversing with the few veteran Riders left.

Mara and Garth had been rather tight lipped about their friend and offered no suggestions other than to give Karigan the space she needed to adjust.

Laren, a few days after Karigan's arrival, had berated herself over the callous way she had interrogated Karigan, but at the time had felt it necessary. Now, with Karigan's account securely acquired, she couldn't help but wonder at the contents. What did it all mean?

The way that Karigan had stared at the collection of drawings the king had gifted her, the mirrored eye that she now possessed . . . Laren shuddered involuntarily. She was not able to hold Karigan's gaze for longer than a few moments, so disconcerted she was to see the brief flash of distorted images that assaulted her senses.

'Laren?'

The captain snapped her awareness back to the present and turned her head inquiringly towards her king. 'Sire?'

'How long can she withstand the call? Twas not long on her last attempt.'

'I cannot say. She is . . . different now. And since I do not know her destination . . .' Laren trailed off.

Zachary ran a hand wearily over his face and moved to sit back down in his chair. 'What are you not telling me?'

She tensed and looked at him askew. 'I have divulged all I know.'

His eyes locked with hers, 'Are you? Do you really want to have a conversation about honesty, Laren? Let me try again, what do you know that you have chosen to withhold for my own good?'

Laren stood a little straighter, 'I truly have told you all I know.'

'You have never kept anything from me?'

'Of course not!'

The king smiled grimly and held up a faded stack of letters, 'I suppose we better start with why these never made it to their destination. Then we'll talk more of Karigan's disappearance.'

Laren stared at the stack of letters in slight horror.

**_Having a hard time writing this seriously lol._**


	3. Chapter 3

**I see some real negative chi directed at Laren lol. That was uh . . . a vehement response to her and the letter incident. I guess I know how to get reviews/readers :P**

_The king smiled grimly and held up a faded stack of letters, 'I suppose we better start with why these never made it to their destination. Then we'll talk more of Karigan's disappearance.'_

_Laren stared at the stack of letters in slight horror._

The Captain of the Green Rider Corps maintained her steady gaze with her king, but at her sides, her hands were shaking. She stuffed her hands in her pockets, finding the almost crumpled letter that Karigan had left behind. The familiar scrawl had addressed it to the king but it had clearly never been opened by the sender or the recipient.

Clearing her throat, she opened her mouth to speak but Zachary held up his hand wearily and stopped the words that were forming on her tongue.

He let the letters almost fall limply to the desk as he stared at her accusingly, a deep seated pain simmering in his eyes. 'I am morbidly curious to hear the reasons you felt were cause enough to neglect your duties, but I want to set something straight with you.'

Laren desperately wanted to let her gaze fall to the floor to avoid his, but she stared ahead resolutely.

Zachary walked around and in front of his desk, leaning back on the edge. 'You are not my keeper. You do not make decisions for me. While I hold you in sincere affection and respect, your duty is to obey me and fulfill your obligations as a messenger captain.'

Laren clenched her teeth but held her tongue as he paused for breath.

'I do not know by what stretch of the imagination you thought you were being helpful, but I am prepared to hear what you have to say now,' he finished acidly.

Ignoring the stab of pain from his angry tone, she braced herself and simply said, 'She wasn't for you.'

Zachary blinked a few times, a beat in his jaw visibly ticking. 'And _you_ decided this because . . .'

Laren gave a small huff of impatience, 'Sire, do I truly have to say it aloud?'

'Yes, Captain Mapstone, I am explicitly holding you accountable for your actions and asking you to get to the point,' he bit out.

She folded her hands in front of her tunic, 'She is the daughter of a merchant, and you are a king that needed to make a political marriage. Marrying into a merchant clan would be very good for your coffers no doubt, but would not likely sit well with your inner council.'

'Ah, because the actual marriage that took place is going so well.'

Laren shook her head, 'It may not have started well, but you have enough respect for the Queen to make a comfortable marriage.'

Both of Zachary's eyebrows rose at that. 'Comfortable? Do I want a comfortable sort of Queen to assist me in leading this country to probable war? I may have signed that contract but I _never_ gave my consent for the marriage to take place nor for the events that happened afterwards.'

Laren visibly cringed. She had known what would have taken place at the time with his periods of lucidness so scarce. It had been necessary, she told herself, it would have happened eventually.

Mustering her courage, she straightened back up, 'As far as I saw it, I _did _do my duty. As much as it hurt you both, I kept your letters to avoid letting it go any farther. I was no fool, moonling. I saw how your gazes followed each other, even when you thought no one noticed.'

Zachary tilted his head slightly to the side, 'You admit that what I feel is not one-sided?'

She let out a noise of exasperation, 'Oh_ really_ now, anyone with _eyes _could see what was going on with you both in the same room. I wasn't about to jeopardize the kingdom for puppy love.'

Something shifted in his eyes as he pushed off from the desk and strode back to the window. 'You knowingly admit to keeping us apart?'

'You are determined to hear it all, so I will admit to my part in it,' she replied tiredly.

He turned his head to look at her, 'Can you honestly say that this is how you envisioned events playing out? My so called wife and queen slowly losing her sanity, the threat of total annihilation on the horizon, or the loss of so many of your Riders?'

Laren frowned, 'The queen's sanity?'

His shoulders dropped, 'It has been so gradual I had almost not noticed, but . . . she is different. Less certain of herself and more paranoid. Never in my presence for long before she begs to retire. It is not the best scenario I had hoped for us. I am . . . afraid for her and the children. And yet, I still feel my heart being pulled in another direction.'

Zachary turned to face Laren again, but his posture was less certain and showed more of his wearied soul. 'No matter how good you thought your intentions, you may have caused more harm than good. My love for Karigan was never a passing fancy or an inconsequential whim, I will carry it the rest of my life, and I suspect she has not been left untouched,' he finished sadly.

Laren felt the first real pangs of sympathy as she looked upon his face. 'No, I suspect not, but it was for the best.'

'You still do not regret your actions?

Laren shook her head, 'While I am sorry for the pain I caused you, I would have still made the same decisions.'

Zachary hung his head slightly as if in defeat but he eventually raised it and looked her in the eye, 'And that is why I will send you on a message errand of your own. You will find Karigan and deliver the letters that never made it to her the first time.'

Laren almost let her jaw hit the floor, '_Find_ Karigan? Sire, she could be anywhere!'

'I would advise packing prudently for different sorts of weather,' he responded.

'What will this do though? You are already married, delivering letters to her in your current states . . . ' she trailed off desperately.

He reached across his desk and picked up the packet in his hands before holding it out to her expectantly, 'You will rectify the mistake you made. And you will leave today.'

She gaped openly this time, 'Today? And who will take my duties?'

'One of your junior leaders could use the experience,' he said off-handedly, crossing his arms over his chest. 'On your journey, I expect you to read the letters that you failed to deliver, in addition to the one in your pocket.'

Laren's head snapped up, 'Who told you I had it?'

Zachary shrugged, 'It is a big castle, I could have heard it from anyone.'

'The contents of the letter may not be to your favor,' she warned.

Zachary gave a small sincere smile, 'In Karigan, I have never doubted. I have never actively tried to push her beyond her point of comfort save once . . . but I knew, Laren. I've always known.'

Laren immediately challenged his statement, 'You never tried to force her hand?'

The king's smile faded slightly, 'I put my foot in my mouth once and did not do myself any favors, but I never tried to force her hand, no. So will _you _do this willingly for me?'

Laren looked down at the faded parchment in her hands. 'It seems I have no option.'

The king looked at her with a slight grimace, 'No, you do not.'

**_I have a legitimate story arc. It's a new one in terms of KxZ. Roll with it._**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Thank you for the reviews. This may/may not be a KxZ fic, in case some think I am going my usual route. I'd have to climb out of the huge pit that KB's plot bomb left behind. So, we'll see. BUT I DO want to resolve the whole dancing around each other thing. For better or for worse, we're doing something with it and WE ARE MOVING ON! And I am not dragging out a new love interest for the sake of a love interest. Unless Cade turns into Doctor Who, or Guy Pierce from the Time Machine, he will not be making an appearance. _**

Karigan stared out of the tall double set of windows listlessly. The breeze stirred the sheer white gauze curtains gently, brushing against the chair she was curled up in. It was late afternoon, the transition into early evening beginning as the last of daylight began to leave the sky. She shivered slightly and drew up the throw across her lap. She was dressed simply in a linen shift and a soft moss green silk robe, her hair plaited loosely and simply down her back.

Karigan had been afforded her own suite of rooms, a courtesy given to her as a guest of the royal house of Eletia.

In truth, they felt it best that she begin her stay in solitude, for her mind and soul did not always linger with the present. It was more than understandable, expected even, that she take the necessary time to recuperate, but slightly bewildering that she would choose to do so in a foreign place.

Away from her kin and comrades.

It was fortunate that the knowledge that had crafted the brooches had not been lost to memory, and that the magic governing them could be manipulated for a time to allow her the reprieve she needed.

Those who watched her observed the mirrored eye but said nothing, noting how she ducked her head and hid her gaze during brief interactions.

Somial had tended to the rest of her lingering injuries but had proclaimed nothing amiss other than her melancholy. He watched her closely, remembering his initial assessment in Sacor City. He had also been given a brief glimpse of her written account, an attempt to give the healer every advantage in treating his patient. Her shuttered expressions betrayed nothing, but he understood her frame of mind well enough.

He was not sure that she did though.

Her excursion into the future, had in a way, been an exploratory time for her emotions but the time spent itself had not been enough. To be forced into a situation so abruptly and taken away again, it was surely unsettling for a mind that was quickly losing the details of the memory but retaining all the strong feelings.

Fear, apprehension, confusion, determination, attraction, lust, and perhaps even the beginnings of a new love were now permanently lost.

Somial believed that each day seemed to bring progress in terms of the stability of her mind, but the reality of having lost almost a year of her own time was still painful.

There was some unfinished business that she had left behind in Sacor City, something he had seen in the castle but had not speculated on due to the chaotic atmosphere that Karigan's return had caused.

Whatever had happened in the future was now a moot point, that much was for certain, but he knew beyond a shadow of doubt that regardless of the situation, Karigan's heart remained firmly in the position it had been in prior to Blackveil.

Somial carefully considered the situation he now faced as a healer and as a true friend of Karigan's. She would never admit it to another soul, but she loved her king beyond the obligations of a Green Rider.

And the Firebrand loved her, despite the corner he was forced into.

Part of her recovery would lie in purging the heavy emotions she had carefully hidden from others. It was essential for her to move forward with her life, to either claim the emotions openly within herself or to put them aside forever.

There were special arts of healing that were rarely used for those in his profession, but on occasion brought out in a case of extreme need. Due to their volatile nature, they required a steady hand and a very intent need to help the patient out of a dark place. It also required a bit of strong magic that required two additional healers to make the spell travel the distance needed.

With the blessing of his prince and his colleagues, he had already made the preparations needed to go forth with his treatment, but still he worried. He did not want to set any false expectations with Karigan, nor did he wish to cause unnecessary pain.

Somial had arranged for a light repast to be delivered to her rooms, at the same time he would arrive to make his nightly rounds with his assistant. Normally, he would quietly share a cup a tea with her and try to gently coax a few words from her. Tonight would be similar in design, only her tea would be laced with something a bit more potent.

He now watched her discreetly over the rim of his cup. The sun had already set a few hours ago, and it was nearing the time he ought to leave, but he would need to stand by. Her eyes began to flutter and her cup began to tip precariously in her hand before Somial swiftly removed from her hand. With help from his assistant, they removed her to her bed and tucked her in gently, carefully monitoring her heart beat and breathing as she settled.

Somial placed a hand on her brow and murmured a blessing. Tonight, she would be confronting her own personal demons.

**_Small Karigan/Somial blurb to set up the next chapter._**


	5. Chapter 5

_**I churned this out in 45 min. No lie. The muses are back, baby. Thank you Aereal for being a tactful and diplomatic pest!**_

* * *

Zachary leaned back into his chair and rubbed at his eyes tiredly, the absence of light in the room briefly registering in his mind as he yawned.

Another day had gotten away from him. And it was how he preferred to spend his hours, busy enough to occupy his mind and absolutely tired enough to collapse into bed with no additional time to linger over his personal state of affairs.

Estora no longer visited him, or ate her meals in the same dining room. She appeared when necessary at formal events but steadfastly avoided his gaze when he sought to make polite conversation. He knew not how to broach the uncomfortable silence between them, for it had seemed for a few months that they had made progress in their personal dealings with each other.

But something had shifted in her demeanor. The face she presented to the public was placidly pleasant but gave no hint of anything beyond superficial emotion. It was when she gazed upon his captain that an intense disgust and hatred crept into her gaze.

He had thought it was merely his imagination playing tricks upon him, for why would she hold Laren in contention when the Rider Captain had always supported the Queen in every instance?

But it was still there. The slight curl of her lip and lift of her chin as she took in the green garb of the Rider uniform.

Zachary shook his head sadly and stared down at the work on his desk. Things had spiraled out of control so quickly in the past few years. The attempted coup and death of his brother, the resurgence of Mornhavon, his botched marriage, and the general upheaval of his country.

_His _country.

Not quite how he imagined his adult life when he was a boy. And now he didn't have his father or grandmother to help him out of this new mess.

He wrinkled his nose and ran a hand through his tousled hair. Somehow he doubted Grandmother Isen would have liked Estora.

Zachary snorted. To be honest, Isen did not like many court ladies. She always declared that they reminded her of a flock of seagulls when they clustered about in groups and tittered amongst themselves. But perhaps she might have liked Karigan . . . .

He groaned and stood up to head for his bedchamber door. Clearly he didn't keep himself busy enough if his trail of thought was leading him in that dangerous direction. He allowed his valet to help him with his coat but waved a hand in dismissal after he sat down at the foot of the bed to tug his boots off.

He supposed he looked rather pathetic these days. A bit thin, Laren had called him a few days ago. His big sister was being kind; for he was rather sure he looked like a common scarecrow found in a farmer's field.

Zachary puffed out a breath and threw himself back on the covers. He had every intention earlier in the year of returning to the practice ring with Drent, but foreign policy tended to have more of a tenuous hold on his attention these days than his physique. He could still wield a sword well enough, but his endurance and stamina had not returned.

Well, the road to hell was paved with good intentions. He sighed and closed his eyes, resolving to make the time in the morning. He rarely slept through the night anyways. Might as well be productive, he thought as a strong tug brought him into the realm of sleep.

* * *

His dreams took him to a familiar place. The grassy knolls and seaside cliffs of Hillander province. It was a place of happy memories and it was where his mind now took him for refuge.

He sat in the tall grass and enjoyed the salty sea breeze, his head tipped back and eyes closed.

For a little while, he could forget who he was. He could listen to the waves and tune out the rest of the world.

A voice interrupted his musings, 'What are _you_ doing here?'

Amazing that even here she would continue to wreak havoc on his consciousness. He peeked one eye open and regarded the object of his affections with an amused grin. 'Leaving my troubles behind?'

She frowned, looking rather disgruntled, and crossed her arms over her simple blue gown, 'Well, you shouldn't be here.'

He rested his forearms on his knees and looked around him, before returning his gaze to hers. 'We _are _in Hillander, only a few miles from where I was born. If anything, _you_ seem out of place here.'

His mind's rendering of Karigan huffed indignantly and plopped on the ground; drawing up her knees under her skirt and staring sullenly off into the waves. She had been careful to sit several feet away from him, he noticed bemusedly.

Zachary shrugged and returned his gaze to the same point on the horizon. Perhaps it was best they didn't converse then.

But gods was her presence distracting. He had been making a sincere effort, as a married man, to _not_ think of a woman who was not his wife. But the problem was, he had never really reconciled in his mind that he married Estora. The event happened, and as far as he was concerned, he wasn't there for it.

_None_ of it, he told himself firmly. He had regarded himself with a measure of horror, almost disgust that his body had been manipulated, for it felt a betrayal of the woman he actually loved. But what was done is done, and there was no use trying to make better of the situation.

He was in a loveless marriage, the country was going to hell in a hand basket, and Karigan had taken off in the middle of the night.

And now, to make matters worse, his mind thought it a delightful endeavor that he be forced to see her beautiful countenance and hear her dear voice.

Delightful. Add another tally to the chart for monarchs losing their respective minds.

He snuck a glance over at her, watching the loose strands of her golden brown mane wave gently in the breeze. She had propped her chin on her hand as she steadily ignored him and ran her other hand through the feather grass idly.

Karigan's eyes wandered a bit too close to where he was sitting and met his for a brief moment before she turned pink and hastily looked away again.

He grinned and looked down with a slight blush of his own; maybe this wasn't so bad for a dream.

* * *

Laren sat holed up in her small office with the door locked as she look despairingly at her desk, cluttered with her belongings as she attempted to load her saddlebags.

She glared balefully at the stack of letters that sat on the window sill, directing her ire at the written words as she carelessly stuffed an additional shirt into a tight cranny.

The king had ordered that she take a Weapon with her, thus Willis was assigned to dress the part of another Rider and accompany her as she tramped across the country.

She harrumphed. More like he wanted to keep an eye on her.

Laren snapped the closure of the bag shut and shoved it to the side, throwing herself carelessly into her chair. Gods, she would be behind in so much work when she got back. This is what she got for being a tad stubborn and refusing to delegate her duties long ago, she supposed.

She got up and picked up the stack of letters, gently tracing her finger over the brisk handwriting of the king. This would not end well, her gut told her, but her moonling was right. She needed to set things right, no matter the pain and cost.

Her brooch gently whispered its agreement.

* * *

Somial sat in the armchair next to Karigan's bed, declining his head in response to a servant's offer of relief. It was vital he stay and ensure she did not have an adverse reaction to her dreamscape, or revert back to the state she arrived in.

He had received more than one look of censure for asking for her to stay in Eletia after her healing, but then, he was considered rather eccentric amongst his own kind. Too curious for his own good, and too invested in the affairs of mortal men.

Rather true, he concluded serenely, but what some of his peers failed to recognize is that this was no ordinary mortal. If it were within his power to offer any measure of peace to soothe the horrors she had seen, and the troubles that plagued her heart, he would do so gladly.

He took a small sip of tea and gave an inward sigh. The affairs of a mortal heart were rather emotionally taxing indeed.


	6. Chapter 6

Zachary opened his eyes with a start and stared at the canopied bed for a few brief seconds before lifting his head. It was morning, that much was for sure, for the maid had come to light the fire and left a light breakfast tray. He had fallen asleep sideways on the bed almost fully clothed, but a blanket had been draped over him carefully.

Wincing, he sat up and rubbed at his back. Not the best position to fall asleep in. But he felt rested, truly in a way that he had not been in since before his injury.

He grinned to himself, allowing a few moments to think of his pleasant dream before reality intruded. A light knock on a small side door announced the arrival of Fastion, who glided into the room quietly.

The Weapon looked askance at his king, who sat upright with bed head and a ridiculous smile. Arching a brow and clearing his throat, he commented, 'I trust you are having a good morning, sire?'

Zachary gave a cheeky grin and answered with an arched brow of his own to rattle the Weapon. Fastion's face contorted briefly before he rushed, 'Don't answer that. I am here to remind you of your early appointment with the moon priest.'

The king swung his legs over the edge of the bed and gave a nod, staring down at the floor. Fastion slowly walked over to the side of the bed and angled his head to meet the king's gaze, 'Should I call for the valet? Perhaps a bath?'

Zachary rubbed a hand over his face briskly and shook his head, 'No mother, I think I can take care of myself this morning.'

Fastion swallowed the childish urge to stick out his tongue and instead maintained his stoic façade, standing off to the side with his back turned as the king splashed water on his face and quickly dressed.

Falling into step behind him, he hurriedly snatched the king's circlet off the table and nudged him in the arm with it as they strode down the corridor. Zachary sighed and took it, but did not put it on as he continued on his way. Turning his head slightly to the side, he queried, 'Has Captain Mapstone departed?'

'Yes sire, she mentioned that her first stop would be Corsa before continuing east, then north. Willis has promised to sent word back to the capital at each major city until she is found,' Fastion confirmed.

The king paused for a moment, 'And what of the Queen?'

Fastion shook his head, 'She sends word that she will not come this morning.'

Zachary frowned, 'It was she who asked for this appointment.'

The Weapon inclined his head, 'I believe she may be unwell. Her ladies had hinted as much.'

The king stopped and looked up at the ceiling for a long moment, months of frustration coming to a head.

'Let us go to her then,' he declared, turning on his heel to head for the Queen's apartments. Fastion cringed slightly and followed as he braced himself for the unpleasantness sure to follow.

After knocking and being admitted to the queen's solar, they observed Estora as she sat prettily in her heavy concealing skirts, her hands folded neatly in her lap. Her countenance, though, radiated not serenity but an extreme irritation at being disturbed.

Wringing her hands nervously, she waved for her attendants to leave the room as her eyes flitted about. 'What is it you want, sire?'

Zachary's eyebrows climbed up, 'I came to see how you are faring. I hear you are not well.'

She waved a hand airily as tears welled in her eyes, 'I am as you see. I am taken with spasms and flutterings of the heart. It is made worse when I am in the company of others.'

The king approached cautiously, stopping a few feet away with Estora emitted a small squeak. 'Is there nothing I can offer in the way of relief?'

She turned an accusing gaze upon him, 'You can favor me with your absence.'

Zachary stiffened and gave a short bow, 'I see you are in poor spirits, I will return on another day and reschedule our visit with the priest.'

She gave a derisive laugh that sent a chill down his spine, 'That old man can help neither you nor me, and my spirits will certainly not improve with your return. You may go.'

Zachary clenched his jaw but bowed his head once more; taking Fastion with him as he hurriedly left the solar. Things had rapidly deteriorated in a short time. She was beginning to sound more than a little unstable and he was not sure it could be attributed to her condition.

He was still walking briskly in the opposite direction of his Queen when a hand on his forearm halted his progress. He looked up and saw his footsteps had taken him down several flights of stairs to the entrance of the Rider's barracks.

With a frustrated growl, he turned around and stalked back to his study, leaving a bemused Fastion to look at the door and the retreating back of his king with sorrow.

Zachary buried himself in the piles of correspondence on his desk, steadily working even as his eyelids started to flutter in exhaustion.

* * *

Karigan's morning was not as peaceful as she initially hoped it would be. For starters, the staff had refused to give back her usual garb of shift and robe after a cleansing bath.

A selection of silk dresses, in the flowing Eletian style, were pressed upon her. Not having the will or inclination to fight, she quietly choose a dark indigo wrap dress that shimmered and allowed a household attendant to dress her. But she made it clear she was not pleased with the dark little glares she gifted the staff.

Somial was notified of her listlessness in choosing her garb. A tiny furrow appeared on his brow. Knowing her independent and fiery nature, he had intentionally chose wardrobe as a potential point of contention, hoping to elicit a reaction from her.

It was not as strong as he would have hoped but it was a small start. He would need to continue the healing for some time, he surmised, before he saw any real improvement in her spirits.

* * *

Zachary found himself in the same meadow as he laid back and stared up into a passing cluster of snowy clouds.

He shut his eyes with a huff of mild exasperation and willed himself to fall into a deep sleep. He could manage such a thing, right?

'Oh. It's _you_ again.'

Zachary sighed and heaved himself up into a sitting position, startling his visitor. She looked a little flustered, wearing a deep blue dress that stirred gracefully in the breeze, and moved to put some more space between them.

He narrowed his eyes and scooted closer to where she sat. It was his dream and he could sit closer to his dream woman if he wanted to, even if she was a bit snippy. Her eyes widened but she had nowhere to go without teetering over the edge of the cliff.

Zachary gave her a wolfish grin, 'It is _me_, what are you going to do about it?'

Something flashed in her eyes, replacing the dullness he had seen with the fiery determination he recognized. 'I can make you go away!'

He waggled his eyebrows, 'I am waiting, milady.'

Karigan lifted her chin and clenched her eyes shut, opening one after a few minutes and letting out a frustrated growl as she bit out, '_My_ dream. You are supposed to go away when _I_ say so.'

He pretended to inspect a passing cloud and remarked flippantly, 'And yet, I am here. Thus it must be _my_ dream.'

She snorted, 'Not likely.'

'How do you figure that dearest?'

Karigan glared at him, 'Something this ridiculous would only happen in my head. You would never talk to me like _this_.'

Well to be honest he never thought he would enjoy riling her up like_ this_, 'Oh my darling, I have said far more in other dreams.'

She managed to look scandalized and intrigued at the same time, looking over her shoulder as her face turned beet red.

He grinned. This was rather fun.

Karigan stiffened and turned back to look at him, trying to maintain some semblance of dignity as she sought to regain the ground she had lost.

Zachary had sided right up to her and smiled innocently.

Before she had a chance to turn her head away, he leaned forward and quickly planted a small peck upon her lips. She let out a small shriek and reached clumsily to swat at him. He caught her around the waist and pulled her into his lap, letting out a chuckle as she fell backwards against his chest.

This time took the opportunity to speak, with the same frustration as before as she bit out, 'Oh why can't you leave me alone? I left to escape you, not find you again here.'

Zachary froze and stared at her with a bit of worry in his expression as he contemplated the meaning of her outburst. The fight had gone out of her and she tried to curl up unsuccessfully with her skirts, her head leaning against his shoulder.

This was certainly new.

He wrapped his arms around her, his eyes widening as his mind raced for an explanation, 'Err, I'm sorry for being forward.'

Karigan closed her eyes, 'Why can't I dream about flying? Or something silly like being in the circus?'

He offered tentatively, 'Perhaps you love me?'

'Well of course I love you, stupid man,' she snarled as she struggled to her feet. He looked a bit taken back but continued to listen.

'The problem is that I _shouldn't. _I should _not _love a king, especially a _married_ one, and I should _not_ keep thinking of him in my dreams! I will not be that sort of person, I know where my duty lies, even if my heart doesn't!'

Zachary opened his mouth but closed it again abruptly as he stared at her. She glared back with fierce eyes but held her silence once more as she fisted her hands in her skirts. With a sort of chilling clarity, he took a breath and fixed her with a probing gaze, 'Would you rather not love me?'

She faltered in her stance and let her eyes fall as she whispered, 'No.'

He narrowed his eyes, 'Why?'

'I do not have to explain my reasons to a figment of my imagination,' she stammered.

'Then humor the workings of your mind and answer the question, it cannot hurt anything to be honest to yourself,' he reasoned.

'Being the king has shaped you, defined you as the man you are today. I love that man, not the crown,' she murmured, her eyes still on the ground.

Zachary fought the small smile that threatened to erupt. 'Why admit this now, and here of all places?'

She lifted her gaze once more and tiredly sank back down to the ground, 'Why not? You are nothing more than a dream. A pleasant fiction that will not exist when I wake up.'

Zachary leaned back on his arms, 'Why bother with me then? I sound like nothing but trouble for you.'

She lifted her arms helplessly, 'Because I am complicated and I never do things the easy way it seems.'

He stared at her for several long moments before standing up and reaching for her hand. She didn't resist, but watched him with a sort of resignation. It was not the sort of open affection he would wish for in a . . . real dream but . . . in this circumstance he would not push the issue.

He turned her palm over and stroked her fingers gently, marveling at the sensations that felt so real. He looked up gently into her eyes and gave her a sincere smile. 'I would not have you any other way.'

Karigan scrunched up her nose in response but kept her hand in his.

He looked out at the water and down the grassy slope, before looking back at her, 'Would you like to go for a walk?'

Karigan looked at him suspiciously, 'And do what?'

'Just talk. Whatever you like. I will be a well behaved figment of your imagination.'

She nodded with a bit of uncertainty and they stepped off onto the beach.

* * *

Somial watched a slow smile start to spread across Karigan's face as her features relaxed. The corners of his mouth quirked as he continued his vigil into the night.


	7. Chapter 7

_**This is strictly Karigan POV. I've discussed this a bit with others, but this is only **__**my**__** take on this situation. I am sure people will tell me if they disagree lol**_

* * *

Karigan sipped her tea delicately and eyed Somial cautiously.

He hadn't put very much pressure on her to speak today. In fact, he seemed quite content to sit in the armchair opposite of hers and look out the window with her.

It was a rainy day, normally one of her favorites, for she could curl up in her chair with a book or just simply enjoy the coziness of her room while the fat raindrops of a passing storm hit the forest canopy. She took a deep breath and inhaled the damp woodiness of the air.

It was not the same sea air she had experienced the night prior, but it was comforting nonetheless.

She stared into the dregs of her tea as she contemplated her dream. He had been there for a second time. Whole, not a fragment of a memory or vision, but just as himself. As if it were really as easy as strolling on the beach with her. The corners of her mouth turned up as she recalled their conversation.

They had talked of the silliest things. He brought up his childhood, his favorite terrier, and how he overcame his initial shyness in front of crowds. His grandmother apparently suggested imagining people as seagulls.

In turn, she had talked of wandering through vast warehouses of cloth and spices as a little girl. Of her larger-than-life aunts, and her education in Selium.

The edges of her vision had seemingly blurred as her consciousness brought her out of the realm of sleep and she had awoken in her silken sheets. But with a clarity and peace of mind she had not experienced in some time.

Even with all that she had lost, or what her gut told her she had lost, she had finally reached a point where she could admit where she stood in life. Scarred and dragged through the mud, but not beaten.

Lost memories aside, the experiences in Blackveil were something that she would struggle to acclimate to. She supposed it was where it all came to a head. She had seen other Riders, and especially those of the Light Horse, come to a point where their eyes portrayed a haunted dullness. She had been pressed from all sides for information, regarding the nature of her return, and the extent of her trip into Blackveil. No one had seemed to notice, and if they did, they said nothing but looked at her with something akin to pity. She did not want to think of how her family would look at her.

She remembered standing in her new room, alone in the empty corridor that had been opened for more Riders. The few belongings she had on the vanity were not truly hers. The space and solitude did not feel as welcome as had thought it would.

So she simply walked out.

Left the barracks, saddled Condor, and quietly rode out. No one questioned a king's messenger on her way out of the city. No one even recognized her with her hood drawn up.

Karigan had taken one look back at the castle spires, a few windows lit up in the darkness, and her heart had clenched painfully

_Nothing will ever come of it, you had made sure of that, _a little voice whispered in her mind.

She rode north and she rode fast. She had the advantage of the good weather and a small note that had been tucked in her quarters, promising a haven if she should ever need it.

It had been time for her to accept the help of another, and thus she was here now, slowly coming to the conclusion that it had been the right decision.

Her hands tightened around the soft throw around her lap. She was not treated like an invalid, but yet, nothing was asked of her. Her conversations were few and far between, and mostly with Somial.

Karigan glanced at him again, this time meeting his curious gaze. He tilted his head ever so slightly in question, but she shook hers in response. It was easier now to read their subtle body language and not be so intimidated by the sereneness of their countenance.

Somial smiled softly, refilled her empty teacup, and then resumed watching the rain fall.

She let her head fall back to hit the chair, feeling drowsy still from last night. Without even examining the contents of the cup, she knew that there was something that her healer had been adding to the brew. Initially her reaction had been one of indignation, but given the fact that she had been sleeping through the night without waking in confused tears, she had not spoken aloud of it. And in light of the oddities in her sleep patterns . . .

Karigan picked up the cup and stared at the steam, eyes darting back to the healer. He felt the intense scrutiny and turned his head back to her. For a few moments they held each other's gaze. Karigan pursed her lips with a slight frown but took a sip of the brew, her eyes narrowed.

Somial offered what he hoped was a conciliatory expression, but she did not look too mollified. Leaning forward and silently praying for a response, he asked intently, 'Has your sleep much improved?'

She arched her brow slightly, waiting several minutes before replying, 'My body sleeps but my mind has not been at rest.'

The healer canted his head again, pleased that she had spoken, 'Is it something that you wish to speak of? Does it bring you pain?'

Karigan shook her head, 'My dreams do not bring me pain as much as they do discomfort, but . . . it is getting better. The dreams are not what I am used to though.'

He nodded and settled back into the chair. 'Your reaction is not unexpected. I am sorry for not disclosing the nature of the treatment.'

She sighed heavily, 'I did come here and specifically ask for you for help.'

'But you wish you had been consulted,' he finished for her gently.

'Yes,' she nodded emphatically.

'Would you have allowed me to go this far?'

She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. He smiled again, 'The medicine I proscribed for you gives the patient rather vivid dreams, but we can stop at any time.'

Karigan fidgeted uncomfortably, 'Is it working? Do I seem better?'

'I would challenge that there was nothing truly wrong with you, but we are having a rather long conversation, are we not?'

She bit her lip, looking away but inwardly acknowledging that even after a few nights she was not the same recluse that arrived. His hand reaching across to pat hers brought her attention back to the present, 'You seem to have a measure of peace returning, I will not ask the nature of your dreams, but will only say that it seems to be aiding your healing. I am glad of it.'

'I am as well,' she whispered, shrugging off the brief tinge of distaste she felt, 'But please, warn me before you do it again?'

He nodded gravely in response. She took a deep breath and offered her cup to be refilled again.


	8. Chapter 8

**A Laren interlude. Another chapter will be forthcoming, but I thought this warranted it's own. Thanks for your reviews. Very heartening to read after bad days at work.**

* * *

Laren glared through the rainy showers that permeated the landscape and tugged on her mount's halter, picking through the deep mud.

A cheerful tune reached her ears, coming from her rather chipper companion. It would have delighted her to no end to lose him in the bustling streets of Corsa, but unfortunately he proved to be well versed in navigation.

She gritted her teeth and pulled up the cowls of her greatcoat around her neck, feeling a trickle of cold water go down her back. The general feeling of unease she had been experienced since last night had not disappeared that morning.

It was that damn letter her Rider had written.

Laren had delivered many small notes and scribbles that her Riders, in preparation of a dangerous mission or in their final throes of life, had written for their loved ones. But she was not prepared for the outpouring of emotion that seemingly must have been pent up for years.

Laren's shoulders slumped forward. _Years. _And she had not even touched Zachary's letters yet. One heavy blow of guilt after another slammed into her gut.

Willis switched to humming under his breath.

Laren saw red.

Reaching out, she grabbed the front of his shirt and brought him down, nose to nose. 'Would you _stop_?' she snarled with blazing eyes.

Willis blinked and shook himself loose, walking several paces ahead with his own mount, glancing over his shoulder cautiously at the irate captain.

Laren sniffed and wiped at her nose, 'We are just inside the border of Mirwell, it figures as much that this weather would start.'

Willis looked over his shoulder slightly and tentatively asked, 'Do _you_ think that she would go this far east?'

The captain snorted and waved an arm, 'I do not have any solid leads on her disappearance. She didn't go home and no one has seen her on the roads, and with her well known reputation that is more than unusual.'

The Weapon absorbed that information quietly with a thoughtful expression, 'Does she have any friends?'

Laren shook her head slightly, 'Not truly, not anymore. Her fellow Riders still care for her but there are not many that she can keep herself close to with her experiences. And can you blame her?'

Willis grimaced slightly but offered, 'What about the Eletians?'

'What about them? They offered their healer, patched her up a bit, and left,' she answered shortly. 'They did not seem very interested in the rest of us.'

'No, not in us, but the_ healer_ did seem very much concerned about her,' he said hesitantly, carefully walking around a deep rut in the muddied road.

Laren shrugged, 'I suppose so. They have met before; she has spent enough time in their company to warrant some familiarity.'

Now he shook his head, 'I think there is something more to it. Maybe something linked to her leaving like she did.'

She looked at him incredulously, 'Are you suggesting she ran off into the darkness with an Eletian healer?'

'No, but wouldn't Eletia seem a more logical choice for someone wishing to get away? Especially considering the regard they hold for her, they could maybe help her. It isn't as if the average Sacoridian has experience with time travel or Blackveil,' he remarked slowly.

Laren stopped walking and stared at him, 'She would have practically needed an invitation into Eletia.'

The Weapon turned around and stared back, 'Would if she had?'

The captain looked at him with a combination of incredulity and irritation, 'And why is it, _Willis_, that you are suggesting this to me now?'

He had the grace to look a mite sheepish as he glanced at his mud splattered boots. 'Because we all agreed not to say anything.'

Her eyes narrowed, 'Who is we?'

Willis rubbed the side of his nose while his eyes searched the cloudy skies, 'Err, all the Weapons in the castle, Mara, Garth . . . it was her interactions with the Eletians, she seemed more comfortable with them than with her closer acquaintances.'

Laren slapped at her thigh, 'Gods! I knew those two were lying through their teeth! How did you come to this conclusion, you little weasel?'

He cringed and leaned back, 'Because one of my brothers-in-arms saw Somial deliver a note to her quarters?'

She breathed heavily through her nostrils and clenched her fists, '_Why_ are we here then?'

Willis straightened up, ire crossing his features, 'Because she needed this, if indeed that is where she went. None of us could reach her and she would never unburden herself on her friends. It just makes sense for her to go to them.'

This was true, but it did not negate the point that they traveled _this_ far already, and that she was standing in the drizzle. In Mirwell.

Laren scowled, 'So we wasted all this time on a wild goose chase. . .'

He grinned, 'Not entirely, you have all this extra time to catch up on your reading.'

'My reading?'

'Many ears and eyes in the castle, Captain,' he said.

She watched him with no small measure of annoyance as he grinned and turned his mount around, 'Perhaps it will be a good time to rehearse how you will tell the king that Karigan has likely escaped across the border.'


	9. Chapter 9

**There are time gaps, they don't dream of each other every single night. Just some clarification if you see mentions of weeks past and go, "**_**What **_**now?"**

**They are going to have their first couples fight . . . but well . . . just go with it. It was what flowed the easiest. Let out it lol**

She supposed it wasn't so bad as long as she did not look directly into the mirror. Or into another person's eyes.

Karigan grimaced and leaned back from the small vanity in her rooms, carefully tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. More often than not, she avoided the looking glass, but Somial had gently suggested a more careful look.

A quick peek back still revealed the uncanny mirrored eye. She shivered slightly, her mind catching a kaleidoscope of color and noise from those brief seconds.

She was not ready yet to hold her own gaze. But this was a start.

Drawing her robe closed, she rose quietly from the stool and padded over to her bed. Her hand reached out to gently trace the light embroidery patterns on the coverlet. Somial had asked if he could administer his usual drought for sleep and she had tentatively agreed.

A part of her mind argued that it was only an effort on her part to see more of _him_, not that it would do any good to converse with a dream. But she could not resist the pull to see his face again. Uninhibited, without the censure of others, or fearing the potential repercussions.

She frowned and sat down, removing her slippers and robe, lifting her feet into bed. She would never be able to speak to the king the way she did to the Zachary in her imagination. Closing her eyes, she lay back and pulled up the covers, curling up.

* * *

He honestly did not know why he tried anymore.

His confrontation with Estora a week or so prior had not resolved anything or than his intent to now avoid her like the plague. The worry he had regarding the children now escalated to an uncomfortable high, for he did not know how they would fare with their mother's unstable emotions.

Zachary rubbed at his temple and allowed a small smile to grace his features. In the oddest and most unfortunate circumstances, there was still good to be found in the situation. _His_ children. They had not asked for the conditions that they would be born to, but he was determined to shield them from the strained relationship that their parents shared.

He shook his head and scooted his chair closer to his desk. The written account that Karigan had scratched out lay open, the bits and pieces of paper carefully arranged in order. It occupied his spare time to peruse the experiences she had been able to recall, and puzzle over the hastily scratched out words that were no more than ink blots on the paper. She had been in a rather bizarre society; it seemed, from the odd descriptions of gender roles that had hindered her movement and ability to explore. The passages detailing her time spent in the house of a scholar alluded to the fact that she was more often studied than naught, and was treated as a curiosity to humored, not as an individual of thought and substance.

More than likely, it did not sit well with the Karigan he knew.

Angling his jaw, he sat back again, his mind running, it seemed, in numerous different directions as he pondered the implications of this future. So many moving pieces that had had fallen together to work against Sacoridia. He knew that his focus would have to be on his wayward cousin, Amberhill, and that of Yolandhe.

The last individual was one he was still reconciling his mind to, as if he needed to persuade himself that she was actually real. Though odder things had certainly happened in his reign.

To his recollection, his cousin had not been seen or heard from in some time. And where would he even begin his search? Likely, he'd have to utilize the information network through the Weapons in order to begin. That would take some time . . . and what would he do in the intervening time? Prepare for war? For a siege on Sacor City? Find a contingency to get his heirs out of the city?

Zachary groaned and blinked heavily against the impending headache that would result from this. Gods, he just could not win. Personal relationships _or_ politics, he had truly made someone angry in a prior life.

He wrestled with the guilt of seeing _her_, on more than one occasion, haunting the safe haven of his dreams. He ought not to, he knew, be so eager or forward, but it seemed as natural as breathing anymore. It was a futile attempt to separate himself from the emotions that had been part of him for so long. But it almost . . . chafed at his sense of honor to continue at this. He _was_ married. And he _had_ been raised better than this, no matter what happened while he was unconscious. Growling in frustration, he shoved himself away from the desk and stood up to pace.

And now he was inconsistent. One day loyal to his wife and another to the woman he had given his heart to.

Striding out of the room, he did not acknowledge Fastion as he strode by. The Weapon followed steadily after him, but did not speak. What would his friend even say to him in this situation?

He went into his suite of rooms and quickly dismissed his valet, locking the door after the man had left. Almost angrily, he tore off his outer clothes and threw himself onto the plush mattress of the four poster bed. He would master this, he _must_.

Zachary tugged at the covers and settled into bed, torn within himself as he fervently prayed for a chance to speak with his Rider again. It was time he had settled things.

* * *

It was not the meadow, but an old boathouse within a small harbor that he found himself in. He stood from a crouched position and examined the building he found himself in. He recognized it easily from his youth, days of hide and seek returning to his memory.

He sat back down heavily and waited, not trusting his senses to make sense of the off kilter colors. The rumbling sounds of the ocean sounded familiar enough, but he had noticed if he did not concentrate on Karigan, his mind would lapse into that of a real dream. Distorted colors, sounds, and all the oddities that his subconscious would normally insert.

Zachary rested his forehead on his clasped hands, breathing evenly through his nostrils and focusing on the noise of the surf.

'You don't look terribly well,' she commented briefly.

He smiled wryly, eyes still closed, 'No, these days I suspect I do not.'

She settled down next to him at a respectable distance, 'And what plagues the mind of the king, these days?'

Zachary drew a deep breath and opened his eyes, lifting his head to find her sitting on the floor before him. He met her gaze carefully, 'Mostly, you do.'

If she was startled, she masked it quickly, 'A bit surprising, normally a single Rider does not affect the king's daily business.'

He shook his head, 'Kari, you've never been a normal Rider, _and _you left in the middle of the night. Didn't leave word of where you were headed. Of course I am worried about you.'

She went rather still, 'What do you mean?'

The king's brow was creased as he looked at her with a pained look, 'Why did you not tell someone you needed help? Anyone, your friends, your _family_ . . .'

Karigan looked about her frantically as she struggled to her feet, 'I don't need help, this is just my mind wandering into a place it shouldn't.'

He looked up at her mournfully, 'No, dearest, we are both in a place we shouldn't be. But the question is, what are we to do about it?'

She hurried to the small door of the boathouse but found it would not open, nor would the windows unlatch. Turning around, she fixed him with a glare, 'What exactly is this? Where am I?'

'I have absolutely no idea, but I was hoping that perhaps you could shed some light on it,' he replied, sorrow still evident in his voice. He stood up, causing her to take a few steps back uncertainly. Holding his hands up in placation, he looked her straight in the eye, 'But I do not think this is strictly a dream, love.'

Her eyes betrayed her bewilderment and fear. 'What else could it be?'

He offered softly, 'Perhaps a chance?'

'To do what?' she challenged.

'To talk. As we have never truly had the chance to do. You feel this is all still a dream, and you may yet be right, but I awake each morning knowing that I saw your face and heard your voice,' he said slowly, gauging her reaction. 'We need to make sense of what we have, my darling,' he beseeched her.

Karigan shook her head in denial, 'Don't call me that . . . we have nothing but heartbreak.'

Feeling a well of frustration and something akin to grief, he ground out, 'We know _nothing_ until we sit and talk.'

'And what of your wife? Your children?'

Zachary's shoulders slumped, 'They exist, yes, but you and I pre-date what has happened since you left for Blackveil. It needs to be resolved.'

That was apparently the wrong to say, he discovered quickly as he witnessed the ire rise in her eyes.

_Oh no_.

She almost snarled, 'Is that what you mean to do? Resolve our misspent feelings and move on?'

He threw up his hands, 'So which is to be? You are upset that I bring it up, _as per usual_, but are outraged when I suggest moving on!'

Her cheeks turned a bright pink as glared at him. But she didn't speak, only emitted several annoyed low growls.

Zachary threw caution to the wind and pretended to strain to hear, 'What is that? Do you have something to say?'

She sputtered indignantly, 'Why didn't you try to have this conversation before you were married?'

'You never gave me a chance!'

She shot back, 'I knew my place!'

'Your place was _always_ with me! You and your stubborn pride never stopped to think that I would have fought for you if I had the slightest inclination you cared!'

Karigan kicked her long skirts out of the way and she marched up to stick a finger in his chest, 'If you had placed your country aside in favor of me, you wouldn't be the man I love. That is a _fact_.'

He stared at her angrily, and she stared back with equal feeling. It took him a split second to push her hand aside and crush her to his chest, quickly locating her mouth with his.

And this time, she didn't resist.


	10. Chapter 10

**This chapter was brought to you by the Pocahontas soundtrack.**

**The Doc Manager is giving me sass. There should be page breaks/lines in certain places. **

* * *

_He stared at her angrily, and she stared back with equal feeling. It took him a split second to push her hand aside and crush her to his chest, quickly locating her mouth with his. _

_And this time, she didn't resist._

* * *

Well, at least not right away.

With a forceful push off his chest, she launched herself backward and glared at him, the color high in her cheeks as she touched her lips.

Zachary breathed heavily, his eyes still fixed on hers as he advanced on her again. She took a few quick steps backward and held up a warning finger. 'We shouldn't do that again,' she said a husky voice.

His gaze still held a blazing passion, 'Why ever not? We both liked it.'

'Because it is wrong,' she said firmly, retreating behind an overturned row boat. 'This doesn't change things. We both made choices that we have to live with.'

'I was not in a position to make a choice,' he challenged.

She looked at him sorrowfully, 'You still signed the marriage contract.'

'And you ran away from me, that night on the astronomy tower,' he countered, crossing his arms over his chest. 'You chose to deny every glance and conversation between us.'

Karigan's brow flew up, 'And do _you _remember what you offered me that night? A position by your side, as your mistress?'

Zachary groaned and dropped his arms to the side, 'It was not my finest moment and I was an unmitigated ass, but I knew as soon as the words left my mouth, that I sounded horribly desperate.'

She looked indignant at these words, but he held up a hand, 'Let me finish, Kari. I was frantically trying to keep you close in a situation that was closing in on me, from all sides. Whatever we had gained would be lost with the marriage contract, but in making you that offer, I know that I was asking you to compromise your values.'

Karigan's body relaxed its rigid posture but she still eyed him with displeasure as she recalled that night. The tiniest part of her had asked what the harm would have been accepting him, but she had not in truth been prepared for onslaught of emotions when the words had left his mouth.

Elated that those feelings, those inclinations she had felt for so long might be reciprocated. A cold creeping sadness when she realized the futility of such feelings for a king about to be wed. And finally, indignation that he would dare offer her, a woman he professed to love, such a dishonorable life as a kept woman. He watched her steadily for a reaction, seeing the play of emotions across her face. 'Nothing to say now?'

Karigan shook her head clear of muddled thoughts, 'Nothing that I have not already stated.'

He looked at her consideringly, 'You really cannot think of what we might gain?'

She arched a brow, scoffing in derision, 'Emotional pain perhaps.'

Zachary started to walk slowly around the boat, 'It does not have to be like that. You are thinking only of the negative.'

Backing into the corner, she shook her head, 'Because I certainly can think of nothing positive in regards to us.'

He reached out and caught her forearm, drawing her closer, 'It is certainly better than how we were before. No court retainers hanging about, no advisors monitoring my every move, and finally no council members telling me who I should and should not marry. Listen to us . . . we are having a real conversation with no reservations.'

She looked up into his earnest face and smiled sadly, 'Unfortunately, we both live and breathe in the real world. We would only be able to take this so far. You have your duties and I have mine. You are _married_, Zachary.'

Zachary grasped her arms and rubbed soothingly, frowning slightly at the truth of her words. It felt like a sick joke that the gods had played on them, placing them in complicated circumstances. Whatever power had allowed them this reprieve perhaps had something in mind when it thrown them together here, but for now, all he truly wanted to do was talk to her.

Changing the subject, he sighed and asked, 'Are you going to tell me where you went?'

Karigan stopped the motion of his hands and shook her head, 'I am safe, that is all you need to know. I would not risk you dragging me back to Sacor City.'

He allowed a small smile to tug at the corners of his mouth, 'As if I would ever force you. Plead and beg, but never drag or coerce,' he finished, allowing his arms to fall. 'You admit that I am not a figment of your imagination?'

She breathed heavily through her nose and looked down at the ground, 'No I guess not. Stranger things have happened to me.'

Zachary chuckled, 'You seem to attract them.'

Karigan peeked back up with a rueful grin, 'Regardless of that, I seem to be stuck with you each night.'

'Don't sound _too_ excited, now.'

'We have already established that our circumstances are hopeless,' she continued.

'Several times in fact, I do not think we need to continue on that vein.'

'But there is no harm talking I suppose,' she acceded with a sigh, truly not completely happy with the turn of events. Her declaration, though, brought forth a tight embrace from Zachary, 'I knew you'd see things my way,' he said happily.

Karigan held up a finger and poked him hard in the chest, 'No more kissing.'

This had to be the first time she had ever seen him look a mixture of crestfallen and outraged. His eyes widened, 'None at all?'

'Not a peck.'

His expression turned mournful, 'Not even on the cheek?'

She smiled slightly at that, against her better judgment, 'And would we truly be able to keep it at that?'

Zachary sighed and shook his head, 'No, probably not. So what would you like to do now?'

'I am not sure what to do with any of this,' she admitted aloud, walking to a window to observe the brightly colored turquoise ocean. The sky itself had shifted into a myriad of colors as the light began to fade from the sky. Perhaps this place had something akin to a nighttime too. She shivered and wrapped her arms around her torso, almost jumping up when she felt his arms wrap around her waist and draw her close.

Briefly she struggled but he held her tighter with a brief rejoinder, 'You did not say I could not hold you. And besides, you are cold.'

Karigan rolled her eyes, but relaxed, 'You can't get cold in a dream.'

'You can in this one,' he said simply, resting his head against hers. 'Do you remember what you said not too long ago?'

'That this is hopeless?'

'No, before that.'

She tilted her head to peer at him questioningly.

'You admitted you love me twice now,' he said softly.

She turned pink and quickly looked back out the window, 'Oh. Yeah, I did didn't I?'

'Could you say it again?'

Her posture tightened, 'Does it need to be repeated?'

'I would hope every day,' he teased, 'But I do not think I would ever tire of hearing it from you.'

Karigan looked up at the ceiling for forbearance before clenching her eyes shut and stammering, 'Fine, I do love you.'

Zachary laughed slightly into her hair, 'You sound like you are in physical pain when you utter those words.'

'Sorry, must be habit to tuck those sort of things away,' she mumbled.

He turned her around and cupped her cheek gently, 'And I am sorry for it. Sorry that you have been put through this much suffering for your country.'

She smiled wryly, 'It was mostly for you.'

Zachary smiled back but looked at her seriously, 'You do know that I loved you from the moment you walked into the throne room?'

'Sometimes I thought I had saw something when you looked at me,' she said quietly, 'I had chalked it up to my own fanciful yearnings.'

'No, Kari,' he said, drawing her closer and holding her tight. 'It is not something I can turn off, nor is it something I wish to be without. I might sound like a sentimental fool in love, but I am most definitely your fool.' he finished self-deprecatingly, coaxing a rare and brilliant smile to grace her features.

* * *

Somial had rested his head against the palm of his hand as he idly dozed. A small nudge by his assistant and apprentice Mhyla caused him to observe the beatific features of his patient.

With the lines of stress smoothed from her features in sleep, and her mouth curved into a smile, she looked utterly at peace as she hugged a feather pillow closer to herself. The corner of his mouth quirked up as he tucked the comforter around her shoulders a bit tighter, gesturing for Mhyla to turn down the oil lamp in the room.

With the fire burning lowly in the grate, the room was cast into shadow and darkness once more. Somial gently closed the door behind him, fully confident that his charge was in safe hands tonight.

* * *

**It was fluffy, yes, but I wrote all these interesting plot lines that I cannot go forth with until they kiss and makeup. Thanks reviewers, I appreciate the feedback. **


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